Tag Archives: gratitude

Monday, June 5, 2023, was not my day to die.

Early (12:30 AM) Monday, June 5, 2023, I experienced a feeling in my chest that migrated down my left arm and back, and radiated from front to back and front, again. Medical professionals would call it “pain”. I describe it as a deep, specific ache. Within short minutes I knew something was very wrong and not me. “We’re going to the emergency room.” I told my husband, Al.

Longer story short – I was having a heart attack. Because of the location of the blockage, no stint or ballon. I’m being treated with medication for now. After the procedure, my cardiologist said: “You are no longer a smoker.” I replied: “That’s right.” Done and done.

As a life long swimmer I took baby steps to get back into Narragansett Bay (RI), where I had just swum the Friday before for the third time this season. Two days ago I was back in that water – slowly, attentively. It was wonderful.

Follow-up appointments with PCP and cardiologist are on the calendar. I was very fortunate. I’m feeling blessed and filled with gratitude. June 5, 2023, was not my day to die.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

NB: Because of this life-changing health event, I’ve begun researching women and heart attacks. There’s alot of information available. It’s my intention to write atleast three (3) pieces focusing on different aspects of health care, heart attacks, and women. More needs to be known. More needs to be shared. More needs to be talked about to elevate the knowledge and understanding. Women and men don’t, necessarily, experience heart attacks the same. What’s your heart attack story women? I’ve just, briefly, told you mine. Thanks, in advance.

My Sons

Stepping into this morning’s light, it’s the same as yesterday’s but not. My heart breaks open, knowing that, someday, I’ll have to go away. Tears of sorrow. Tears of joy. Who will come and comfort me? Who will come and comfort you after I go?

@JessanDunnOtis (c) #Writer

Reconfiguring

Since May 21, 1996, I’ve marketed myself as an independent, freelance writer/editor, collaborating with some amazing clients. To them, as always and again, many thanks for trusting me.

It’s true, from time to time, I did my own work. Not enough, however.

After twenty-seven (27) years it’s time to reconfigure.

Going forward I’ll be focusing more on my work that has laid dormant or ignored too long.

This is my path. Not to walk it is unconscionable.

#DanceOn…

What do you leave for this world?

What’s the legacy you leave for this world when your time on this earth as a breathing, living human being is done?

Did you love enough? Were you kind enough? Did you give it your best effort each day? Did you, in James Taylor’s song, “…shower the people you love with love…”? Did you overcome your fears? Did you give all to what you do best? Did you take care of yourself (not selfsih), so you could better take care of those who needed it? Did you hold the door for the one behind you? Did you give a stranger a hug when they needed it? Are you grateful for the gifts you’ve been give – like waking up each day to give it your best, again?

Or, did you give up, give over, slip down that slippery slope of anxiety, selfishness, hate, bigotry, and loathing? Did you tell a story about someone or something when you only knew less than half the whole story? Did you knee-jerk respond to someone you care for when a moment to step back would have stopped the words that you can never take back? Did you forget that your life is worth living?

It’s always a matter of deciding to do this rather than that. To say, or not say, something. It’s always a choice. Every day, it’s always a choice.

What’s your legacy?

Silence and Solitude – Life Lessons

I learned to sit, in silence and solitude, at the end of my street, on Narragansett Bay, looking out and way, when I was young and questioned everything.

When the world was too much with me, I went to that place.

As I celebrated more birthdays I went less and less; and, finally, moved away to begin another part of my life.

Recently, I visited that street, again. I walked to the end of the street and looked out. The place I used to sit is no longer there. Nevertheless, I can bring it all back, as if it was the day before yesterday.

It’s come to my attentions that sitting in silence and solitude is, frequently, questioned, invaded and/or under suspicion in this society. Some folks just have to come up to you, say anything, and break that embrace of peace in which you were sitting. I don’t know why.

The long life lessons I learned as a young girl, sitting for hours sometimes, were to feel, with my entire spirit, to listen with an acutely tuned ear to the patterns of life and nature; and, most important, to stay open and be patient. I did not know then (only learned years later), I would come into the writing life and what lessons I already knew about feeling, listening, staying open, and patience.

I still question everything. I still create and/or find places where I can sit, in silence and solitude, and look out and away.

Where and how did you learn your life lessons?

Stay safe. Take care of yourself and each other.

In gratitude,

~ Jessan

photo credit: Jessan Dunn Otis (c) 2021

To the women who sing – written by Jessan Dunn Otis|Writer

This is dedicated to the women who sing.

This has been a long time coming. I’ve composed and re-composed this piece for years as I would sit, in silence; or, when doing mundane things.

Music has been in my life for as long as I can remember. First, there were lullabys, sung by my mother, Helen Smith Dunn. As I grew, when she sang in church and I was rib-high, her rich contralto vibrated against my ear.

Eventually, I learned to play the violin. After days and years of practice, I became the second violin in the Rhode Island State Youth Orchestra. In addition, I joined the chorus in junior and senior high school. I have my mother’s deep, rich contralto voice. I’m forever grateful for that.

There are many women who sing and I know and love their songs. You may know them, too. These women who sing have voices that rise up, challenge, comfort, give solace, as only the human voice can do. Gracias a la vida.

Then, there are the women who sing because of how they live, how they give of themselves over and over again. They are the neighborhood community leaders, the mothers (even if they have no children of their own), the Aunties, the elders (Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers). They are our friends. These are the women who laugh together, dance together, love together, share together, support each other. I have had and continue to have such profoundly beautiful and strong women in my life. I’m forever grateful for that.

There are the women about whom history refers to as “Anon.” (Anonymous). Often, these women are cited in writings that have come to us through hundreds of years of human history. Their names are forgotten or have been erased. But, what they’re attributed to contributing to our shared human history survives. I’m forever grateful for that.

I’ve, often, dropped to my knees as I came to learn and understand how women have survived – actually survived and endured – for eons. Women have been raped, killed, beaten, mutilated, emotionally abused, spiritually tortured, denigrated (publicly and privately), referred to as sluts, whores, pussies, dykes, mother fuckers and more. What we do to each other out of fear and hate and bullying.

Finally, to all the women who believe you have no voice – you do. Your empowerment is the fact that you are a woman. Through you, through me comes the next generation. What’s more powerful than that?

To all the girls who are becoming women, do not be afraid. Explore. Challenge. Think. Create. Don’t take “No, you can’t.” as a satisfactory response to anything. Listen to your heart. Find and follow your path. I’ll tell you, right now, it won’t be easy. Life isn’t, always, easy. But, you have one life to live – live it.

*Dedicated in Gratitude, Love and Memory to my mother, Helen Smith Dunn (1912-1980); and to my sisters – Barbara Dunn Blossom, Tacy Dunn San Antonio and Genevieve Dunn (1955-2013).

Wednesday Prayer ~ June 3, 2020 ~ by Jessan Dunn Otis, Writer

“Begin each day with gratitude – for your life, for the sun, for the rain, for your breath.

Begin each day with love – for your life, for the sun, for the rain, for your breath, for yourself, for each other.” @JessanDunnOtis 6.3.2020 (c)

May 1, 2017 – #poem

May 1, 2017 – #poem 

So much to say

So much Silence in between

Solitude is my constant companion

 

Blessings

 

Gratitude

 

Balance in all things

 

Letting thoughts and breath

run out and back

 

Sun on skin

Joy-filled hoot from behind

that hedge

 

Mating calls of this bird and that

 

Distant roar of plane pushing into

brilliant blue of this afternoon’s air

 

One mourning dove lowing

soft and close

 

Blessings

 

Gratitude

 

Thank You for this life

This one I’m living at this moment…

…this moment   …this moment

 

Each of us is in service to someone or

something

 

Who do you serve?

 

…this moment

…this moment

…only this moment.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(c) 5.1.17 – Jessan Dunn Otis|Writer

 

 

Fresh Night Air ~ #poem

FRESH NIGHT AIR ~ #poem

fresh-sea-air

There are moments that will always twang a heart –

like the sound of a plucked steel string guitar

echoing far beyond the resonance in a

    fresh night air

 

That was one of those moments,

embraced by winds of an oncoming tropical blow –

day filled with bluest sky, dancing clouds and

dancing crowds     When, unexpectedly, an

invitation is extended and accepted

 

That rhythm that thrums through all of us was

thrumming through a quiet, gentle, loving tenderness

in that fresh night air, as a whisper

    whispered close and low

 

(Time to go     

              Time to go)

 

Steel string echo plucks a heart

  in this fresh night air

 

I am there.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

© Jessan Dunn Otis/September 7, 2016

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Many thanks to Johnny Nicholas, Rhythm and Roots Festival, Charlestown, Rhode Island, Sunday, September 4, 2016 – “…circle is unbroken”.